Winter is coming. And by winter, I mean the final season of Game of Thrones. To prepare myself for this momentous final season, I am re-watching the show from the start because apparently, I like to torture myself. So, I decided to do summaries of my thoughts, feelings, and general (and sometimes wine-drunk) musings of each season. My season 1 wrap up is here.
FYI: this post very obvious has spoilers for Season 2, but I vaguely discuss future seasons, so here is your warning.
Season 2: The season in which there are a lot of garbage people, but none more garbage than Theon
Where to even begin with this season. I went in to it thinking that it was the one season where not a lot of characters I cared about died. I. WAS. WRONG. I’m going to try and see how well I can filter all the chaos of this season down…
Let’s start with the Lannisters. Cersei continues to be amazingly cruel and awful, but Lena Headey plays her so well and I get hypnotized by her evil smirk. Also, drunk Cersei during the Battle of Blackwater is priceless. Tywin almost fooled me again into thinking he wasn’t that bad when he is at Harrenhal. I love his interactions with Arya (who is hiding in plain sight as a cup bearer for Tywin) so damn much. There is another set of characters I could listen to trade words all day. And then there is Tyrion. Again, Tyrion is the only Lannister I still truly like and I feel so much for him in this season. He plays the game so well, but he does actually care for people and for Westeros. The way he looks at Sansa whenever he steps in to save her from Joffrey cuts straight to my heart. And all he does to protect King’s Landing when Stannis Baratheon shows up that no one appreciates him for. It kills me. I truly hope Tyrion survives the final season. Oh, and there is Jamie too. He basically spends the whole season being a charming asshole tied to a pole. Oh, and Joffrey is still terrible.
We finally meet Stannis and damn, I forgot how much I kinda like this stern, grammar loving guy. I have a soft spot for grumpy characters, so Stannis charmed me at first (not so much in the later seasons). But his whole thing with the Lord of Light prophecy is just meh to me. I really can’t ever see him being a good king, regardless of his legitimacy. BUT with Stannis we also get Davos Seaworth! I love the character of Davos so damn much. He knows no good can come from the Red Woman. Speaking of Melisandre, uggggggghhhhhhh, she bothers me, but she is proper creepy and knows how to manipulate with the best of them. Too bad the Battle of Blackwater totally blows all their plans to hell ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Time to check in with my family, the Starks. Robb is off winning battles, but being dumb by falling in love with Talisa. I yelled at Robb quite a few times during this season. Catelyn is equal parts wise and annoying. I love how she sees through Robb when he first tries to deny his attraction to Talisa, but I want to smack her when she let’s Jamie go (even thought it leads to the awesome road trip of Jamie and Brienne). The only thing that stands out for me about Bran is I like when he gets all creepy psychic for a bit. Sansa continues to impress me with that core of steel he has. She is still naive, but she is learning. I legitimately feel for her this time around. And then there is my murder baby Arya. OMG I love her part in this season. When Gendry finds out she is a Stark, I just about die when he gets all flustered. Even though I don’t think Arya will have a romance in the show, I ship those two more than anything else. I forgot this is the season Arya starts her list too! Of course it happens after a heartfelt conversation with Yoren, who immediately get murdered. *sigh* Arya’s interactions with Jaqen are also perfection *Italian chef kiss*
Who else is there? Ah, yes, the Night’s Watch. This season they pretty much go on walkabout beyond the wall. I’m not going to talk about Craster’s Keep because I just ate lunch and I don’t want to vomit. I 1000% forgot that this was the season we meet Ygritte. I kinda love watching her and Jon, but dear lord her voice annoys me. I am eternally amused that the “You know nothing, Jon Snow” line comes from her teasing him about not knowing how to do it *makes suggestive eyebrows so you know what “it” is referring to*
This season is the death of my inappropriate crush on Littlefinger. I mean, Aidan Gillen is forever a total fox, but the moment Littlefinger tries to basically hit on Catelyn while he is delivering her the bones of Ned just kills it. I still appreciate the scheming he gets up to in this season though. Varys, as always, is my favorite with the witty banter. What he says to Tyrion after the Battle of Blackwater is gold and solidifies him as a favorite. I shall be cross if Varys dies before the end.
I almost didn’t talk about Theon. God. Damn. Theon. I’ve never been a fan of Theon but I forgot just how much I LOATHE him during season 2. He is such a whiny little privileged boy and I cannot even with him. There is not a single moment I feel anything but hate for him in Season 2. He brings about the destruction of Winterfell and I shall never forgive him for that. During episode five one of my notes is “Literally every time I see Theon all I can think is ‘ugh, fucking Theon’.” I won’t go as far to say that he gets what he deserves, but also I’m not going to shed a tear over it.
Oh, right, Daenerys. Her story line is basically her being a privileged brat, leading her people into death, and then her having one moment of awesome with her dragon’s breathing fire. *yawn*
- I’m glad someone finally gave Osha a damn hair brush.
- The scene of all the Gold Cloaks killing Robert’s bastards is probably one of the most horrific things in Game of Thrones. Which is really saying something.
- You know, Varys would make a good king…
- Gilly calling Sam brave is so pure and I love those two
- OH HAI PODRICK!
- Gendry calling Arya m’lady is my favorite thing ever.
- Theon flirting, unknowingly, with his sister is equal parts disgusting and hilarious
- Seeing Roose Bolton with Robb fucking still hurts. Oh, and here is the check that leads to Robb’s doom…
- Natalie Dormer as Margaery Tyrell is sheer perfection. “I don’t want to be a queen. I want to be the Queen.”
- Watching all the horrible scenes at Harrenhal are worth it just for Shirtless Gendry.
- I love when Jaqen get’s annoyed with Arya asking him to murder someone immediately. Like he is so over his little murder daughter, but kills for her anyways.
- How many ways can I say “Theon is the worst”?
- Shae helping Sansa is the only time I like Shae
- STOP FLIRTING ROBB!
- Bronn singing the Rains of Castamere is kinda hot and welcome to my new inappropriate crush for the season
- The Hound drinking wine and saying “fuck the king” is a damn mood
- Battle Tyrion is awesome
- The farce of Joffrey breaking up with Sansa in court is ridiculous, but worth seeing Sansa smile. Until goddamn Littlefinger ruins it all.
- Pretty sure Jamie got a semi while watching Brienne fight
- I am so happy Luwin got to see the Stark boys before he died *glares at Theon again for being the cause of Luwin’s demise*
- Watching Bran and Rickon leave a burning Winterfell hurts like hell
- THREE BLASTS FOR WHITE WALKERS!!!!
- Basically every scene with Bronn
- Theon’s inspirational speech to his men at Winterfell that is cut short by his men knocking him out and leaving his bitch ass behind
- Did I mention Shirtless Gendry yet?
- Tywin telling Arya she is too smart for her own good. Their verbal dancing was a wonder to watch.
- Tyrion stripping Janos Slynt of his rank and sending him to the Wall. “I’m not questioning your honor. I’m denying it exists.”
- Joffrey getting poo thrown in his face
Most Painful or Cringeworthy moments:
- Every single moment spent at Craster’s Keep
- Littlefinger’s chat with Roz when she is crying over watching a goddamned baby getting murdered in front of her.
- Shae saying “You are mine and I am yours” to Tyrion because I know what is coming and it is not good
- Robb marrying Talisa
- Dany’s vision of Drogo and their unborn child. I don’t ship Dany and Drogo in any way, shape or form, but this still hurt.
Character I’d Bring Back: hard tie between Maester Luwin and Yoren
Character I’d Murder: THEON FUCKING GREYJOY
Who I have an inappropriate crush on: Bronn. Though, you have to admit, he is a right side better than Little Finger. He’s got one hell of a smirk, snark for days, and I bet all that fighting he does means he has stamina for days…
Who I want on the Iron Throne as of Right now: For the good of the Realm, Vayrs. For personal reasons, Shirtless Gendry.