Holy heck, the day is finally here! It is the premiere date of the final season of Game of Thrones. It feels like it’s been forever and it also feels like it is too soon. I’m not ready for this show to be over. But the end is near. Before then, I’ve got one more rewatch for you. Previous rewatch posts: Season 1, Season 2, Season 3, Season 4, Season 5, and Season 6.
As per usual, spoilers.
So, you’ll have to pardon me, this recap is gonna be a little all over the place. A lot of paths cross and uncross and it’s a whole lot of chaos (Chaos is a ladder).
We start this shindig at Winterfell, where Jon and Sansa are trying to whip the North into shape for the arrival of the army of the dead. Cersei and Daenerys have both sent ravens to Jon, demanding that he bend the knee (it’s a thing this season). Jon then gets a raven from Sam, who has been studying at the Citadel, that Dragonstone sits on a crap ton of dragon glass. Since they need that dragon glass for weapons, Jon decides to head to Dragonstone, but not before asking the wildlings, led by Tormund, to go man the Eastwatch castle at the wall, and giving Sansa control of the North in his absence.
After Jon leaves Winterfell, Bran and Arya show up (separately) and my Stark heart is full with these reunions. Though things are tense between the Stark kids because let’s face it, they’ve all seen some shit. Littlefinger uses this to his advantages and tries to pit Arya and Sansa against each other so he can keep his claws dug into Sansa. There is some subterfuge, which is such a waste of time, and it all culminates with Sansa calling Petyr out on his BS during a trial and Arya ever so coolly slitting his throat.
So, Dany has landed at Dragonstone and has a very beautiful homecoming. Then she gathers her war council: Tyrion, Varys, Olenna Tyrell, Yara Greyjoy, and the Sand Snakes of Dorne. They begin to plot and Olenna is sent back to Highgarden, the Unsullied head to Casterly Rock, while the Greyjoys are tasked with taking the Sand Snakes to Sunspear (spoiler alert: the trip does not end well). Jon eventually arrives at Dragonstone and Dany immediately demands he bend the knee, he kindly declines and says they are not enemies, but the enemy lies beyond the wall. It is at this point that Dany receives word that Euron Greyjoy has fucked up her fleet, killed two sand snakes, and captured Yara, Ellaria Sand, and the other sand snake whose name is not important cause Cersei totally murders her.
Euron, who looks like some goth hipster douche bag now, attacked Dany’s fleet in an attempt to impress Cersei and win her hand. Cersei, has been giving zero fucks since she was crowned and having the time of her life fucking Jamie openly and killing those who have wronged her. Qyburn has been working on a giant dragon killing cross. Which comes in handy during the loot train battle…
So, the Unsullied headed to Casterly Rock to take on the Lannister army. Only problem, most of the Lannister army was over at Highgarden, taking control and killing all the Tyrells. We get one last session of snark from Olenna, who confesses to Jamie that she was the one who killed Joffery. Jamie and his army get all the gold they took from Highgarden to King’s Landing, but the last half of their loot train gets absolutely decimated by Dany, her dragons, and the Dothraki. Still, Dany has lost a large amount of her fleet, many allies, and a lot of her faith in Tyron as her Hand.
Jon convinces Dany that they need to make Cersei understand that their fight needs to pause so they can focus on the giant army of the dead that is still slowly marching towards the Wall. Jon plans to range beyond the wall with Jorah (who was cured of greyscale by Sam at the Citadel) and others to capture a wight and bring it back as proof. Davos smuggles Tyrion into King’s Landing so he can meet with Jamie and set up a meet. Davos mean while, does the Lord’s work, and goes to find Gendry. They all head back to Dragonstone, where Jon, Davos, Jorah, and Gendry immediately leave for Eastwatch. There they meet up with Tormund, who happens to have the Beric Dondarrion, Thoros of Myr, and the Hound in the dungeons. They all (minus Davos) team up for the coldest buddy road trip of them all.
They find a scouting group of the undead and capture themselves one and the knowledge that if you kill a white walker, all the wights they created die. Then they get surrounded by the dead (at this point they send Gendry off to run and get a raven out to Dany) and have the world’s worst slumber party on a rock in the middle of a frozen lake. Once the undead realize that the lake is frozen enough from them to walk over, they attack. Dany shows up on her dragons just as things look really fucking dire. Well, the dire-ness of the situation doesn’t go away, because the Night King is apparently a world class javelin thrower and manages to take down Viserion. The whole group, minus Jon, jump on Drogon to leave. But Jon gets pulled under the frozen water and the other’s are forced to leave him. But fear not, Jon pulls himself out of the water cause homeboy is hard to kill. Benjen shows up, gives Jon his horse, and he makes it back to the wall just as everyone was about to set sail. Once Jon wakes from his hypothermia sleep, he apologizes to Dany and calls her his queen.
Then we get the great meet up at Dragon Pit. It is one heck of a scene. Jon and Dany present the wight and it seems to convince Cersei. She agrees, in a most un-Cersei like fashion, to cease actions against Dany and Jon as long as they are fighting the undead and will even commit troops to the cause. This should all seem highly suspect because it fucking is. Once Dany and Jon leave, Cersei reveals to Jamie that she has sent Euron to go get the Golden Company, so once Dany and Jon’s forces are exhausted from the battle with the undead, she can decimate them. Jamie is rightfully pissed, because he isn’t a garbage human any more (for the most part). He leaves Cersei just as snow starts to fall in King’s Landing.
Jon and Dany make the super smart decision of banging on their journey home. Which is super gross because as they are doing the dirty, Sam (who has left the citadel) is at Winterfell revealing Jon’s true heritage with Bran. Jon is a Targaryen and Dany’s nephew at that.
While all that shit has been going down in King’s Landing. the Night King has somehow managed to find many big fucking chains north of the wall and uses them to pull the body of Viserion out from the lake. And because we can’t have nice things in this show, he turns Viserion into a white walker dragon. He then heads straight for the wall and knocks it down thanks to his handy dandy dragon. Basically, Westeros is fucked.
- The season starting with Arya continuing her Frey murder spree makes me very, very happy.
- Sansa questioning Jon in front of the lords of the North just pisses me off. Like, I get it, but also, maybe have these convos betwixt each other before big meetings.
- I mean, I hate Euron, but he has some cool fucking ships.
- I love the shade Sansa throws at Littlefinger.
- As much as I hated Ed Sheeran’s cameo, I do like the scene of Arya meeting a band of nice Lannister soldiers.
- The Hound and the Brother going to the house where the Hound once stayed was a good touch too. I love that he buries the bodies of the father and daughter he stole from. Hound redemption arc is good.
- I love that Sam is the one who cures Jorah of his greyscale. Although, that scene is gross AF and I covered my eyes the whole time.
- Arya’s odd little reunion with Hot Pit is sad, cause she is so weird to him, but the look on her face when she realizes Jon is at Winterfell.
- Jon throwing Littlefinger into a wall and telling him to never touch Sansa is hot.
- So many good reunions this season. This time, Jon and Tyrion. I love that they end up on the same side.
- Jon and Davos seeing the dragons for the first time is hilarious.
- Sorry, but Dany is such a spoiled brat, even now.
- Arya sparring with Brienne is gold.
- This season brings us Dickon. Honestly, I love it. Bronn laughing in his face at the name is priceless.
- The Loot Train Battle is so fucking epic. In a different way than the Battle of the Bastards, but still amazing.
- I swear, I thought it was the end of Jamie when he charges at Dany and Drogon.
- Jon touching the dragon…love it!
- The whole Sansa vs Arya plot is worthless and angers me so damn much. Like, every scene they are together they are fighting and this is not what I want.
- I love that Gendry ignores Davos and tells Jon who he is. I want those two to be best buds forever.
- I hate that Sam is typical white man and ignores Gilly, even when she is dropping big knowledge.
- Poor Thoros gets fucked up by the wight bear.
- I nearly lost my shit when it looked like Tormund was going to get taken down by the wights.
- Seriously, where did the Night King get that damn chain?
- Oh, isn’t the Dragon Pit scene awkward?
- Also, someone kill Euron. Please?
- That wight running at Cersei is awesome and why didn’t they let it kill her.
- Jon forgiving Theon…I mean, I get it…but also, I’ll never forgive Theon.
- Dude, the wall coming down doesn’t get any easier this time around.
- All the reunions. In particular, the Stark ones.
- The look on Petyr’s face when Sansa calls him out at the trial.
- Tormund learning the word “dick” from the Hound and then them discussing Brienne
- Davos finding Gendry at the forges in King’s Landing. “I thought you might still be rowing.”
- Misandre listing Dany’s titles vs Davos listing Jon’s titles
Most Painful or Cringeworthy moments:
- Viserion getting turned.
- Basically any time Euron was on the screen.
Character I’d Bring Back: Olenna Tyrell. The world needs her sass.
Character I’d murder: EURON GREYJOY
Who I have an inappropriate crush on: Well, it’s not inappropriate but Gendry back and y’all, he has filled out quite nicely with all that rowing and hammer swinging.
Who I want on the Iron Throne as of right now: Davos. That guy is wise AF.